you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
NoShamevember. You game?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
