He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
There r osticjed everywhere
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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