my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
