she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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