That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
