There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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