I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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