Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
