maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
