I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
