But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
