Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
