so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
