how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
