i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
