i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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