How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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