drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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