Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
