I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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