so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
