A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
