How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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