i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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