no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Welp...herpes.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
