people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize