I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
