How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
