HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
