How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize