i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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