We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize