I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
this hospital has no fireball
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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