I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
