mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
bring money and cleavage
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
