Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
