No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i came on her dog
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
