He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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