Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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