Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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