She is in my trunk
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
