420 ftw
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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