You work out of a Hotel?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
we should paint friendship bongs
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