What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
