i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
