I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
