I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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