First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Still dying that you shit outside
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
