she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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