Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
