you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
sarcasm needs its own font
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
