Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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