STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Boobs speak an international language.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
