he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
