she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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