this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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