I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
