Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
