I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize