you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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