you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
