Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
