all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
