dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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