i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
