Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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