whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Still dying that you shit outside
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize