long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
there is puke in my bra ... again
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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