dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
